THE STORY OF EVOLUTION

THE STORY OF EVOLUTIONby Tom » Fri Aug 25, 2006 5:41 pm

IN THE LAND OF THE MAD
BOOT LICKING MONKEYS,
A BLACK CROW HOOVERED OVER THE
DEAD CARCASS THAT WAS ONCE A KIND AND LOVING MAN,
WHO WAS ON OCCASION ACCUSED OF ALMOST EVERYTHING BY THE MAD BOOT LICKING MONKEYS, BECAUSE HE REFUSED TO DO THE ONE THING THE BOOT LICKING MONKEYS LOVED TO DO. HE REFUSED TO LICK THEIR BOOT AND WAS CONDEMNED TO LIFE TILL DEATH WITH NOTHING- NOONE WAS TO GIVE HIM HOPE, NOONE WAS TO GIVE
HIM HELP, NOONE WAS TO GIVE HIM ANY INFORMATION
ON ANY SUBJECT, FOR ANY REASON. HE WAS OF COURSE CONDEMNED WITHOUT TRIAL OR EVEN NOTICE. HE WAS CONDEMNED ON THE Q.T. A LANGUAGE KNOWN ONLY TO THE MAD BOOT LICKING MONKEYS.

THE BLACK CROW HOVERED FOR DAYS OVER THE MANS CARCASS
DARING NOT TO APPROACH NO SCAVENGER APPROACHED.
THIS CAUSED CONCERN AMONGST THE MAD BOOT LICKING MONKEYS
THEY DIDN’T WANT THE MAN TO DECAY AND INFECT THEIR PERFECT BOOT LICKING LAND. THERE WERE WHISPERS-OTHERS MAY, BECOME LIKE HIM AND REFUSE TO LICK OUR BOOTS. WHAT DO WE DO? IT WAS SUGGESTED TO CHANGE THE FACTS ON HIS LIFE TO SAY THAT HE WAS A PROLIFIC BOOT LICKER IN FACT THAT IS WHAT HE DIED FROM. HE LICKED TO MANY BOOTS HE FORGOT TO EAT AND STARVED TO DEATH.
THEY WOULD MAKE HIS DEATH ONE WITH A MORAL ATTACHED. WHILE BOOT LICKING IS THE HIGHEST FORM A BEING CAN ATTAIN IT IS ALSO PERMISSIBLE TO SNACK FROM TIME TO TIME. THEY ERECTED A STATUE IN THEIR MAIN SQUARE HONOURING THIS OUTSTANDING BOOT LICKER AND THEIR HE REMAINED STUFFED IN THE MAIN SQUARE FOR GENERATIONS AND FOR GENERATIONS THE SCHOOL CHILDREN WERE BROUGHT TO SEE HIM AND MARVEL AT SOME OF THE DEEDS NOW ATTRIBUTED TO HIM BY GENERATIONS OF HYSTERICAL BOOT LICKERS. ALL THE WHILE THE GENERATIONS OF THE BLACK CROW FLEW OVERHEAD WATCHING THIS ODDITY UNRAVEL. THAN ONE DAY A BRIGHTER VERSION OF THE MAD BOOT LICKING MONKEY CHILD NOTICED THAT THIS MAN WHO WAS NOW KNOWN TO HAVE BEEN THE MOST BRAVE, MOST INTELLIGENT, MOST INCREDIBLE BEING TO HAVE EVER TALKED TO WAS DIFFERENT SOMEHOW. NOONE AGREED BUT HE
PERSISTED AND ASKED THIS QUESTION WHICH EXPOSED THIS LIE
AND CHANGED THE COURSE OF HISTORY. IF THIS MAN WAS THE
GREATEST BOOT LICKER OF ALL TIME, WHY THEN IS THERE
ABSOLUTELY NO SHOE POLISH ON HIS TONGUE? THEY ALL
GAZED AT EACH OTHERS BLACKENED, BROWNED AND WHITENED SHOE
BOOT LICKING TONGUES, AND THEN LOOKED AT HIS STILL PINK, MOIST, PURE, WITHOUT A GRAM OF POLISH ON HIS TONGUE.
MUCH DEBATE OCCURRED. HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED? WHAT COULD OUR FORE, FATHERS HAVE BEEN SAYING WHEN THEY SAID THAT THIS MAN WAS THE GREATEST BOOT LICKER OF ALL TIME.
THE DEBATE INCLUDED EXPERTS THAT STATED THAT IF THE LICKING ISN’T CONTINUOUS THE MANS TONGUE WILL DISSOLVE THE POLISH
OVERTIME. HE LICKED ONLY NATURAL SKINS BECAUSE THEY HAD NO POLISH BACK THEN. THAT WAS DISPUTED BY A CAN OF POLISH THAT HAD BEEN PLACED IN THE MANS HAND THE DAY THEY STUFFED
HIM. THE CAN HAD A DATE ON IT WHICH COINCIDED WITH THE
DATE OF THE STUFFING. BESIDES AN INFORMED GROUP OF
RECOVERING BOOT LICKERS STATED THE POLISH NEVER COMES OFF AND ALL YOU GET IS A HEADACHE.

ONE DARING SOUL EVEN DECLARED I THINK BOOT LICKING HAS MADE ME STUPID. THE HIGHER UPS WHO HAD TO MAINTAIN ORDER SAID OH NO YOU ARE NOT STUPID. YOU ARE SO SMART YOU SHOULD BE KING. YOU WANT ME TO BE KING. WE DO.

TO THIS DAY NOT ONE CROW HAS EVER LANDED IN THE LAND OF THE
MAD BOOT LICKING MONKEYS. ONLY THEIR DROPPINGS. WHICH IS HOW
HISTORY WAS CHANGED.

One day many generations later another Scholar of sorts blurted out. Maybe our four fathers Vere vrong all along. Maybe ve vernt suppose to be boot lickers but butt lickers. The land stopped. Paused to ponder this revelation. It fit the facts. The MAN’s tongue is still pink. And that’s the continuing story of evolution. Many generations would again pass BEFORE ANOTHER MONUMENTAL DISCOVERY. HIS NOSE WAS NOT BROWN EITHER
Tom